Quotes:

From Speak Memory: pg 19.

"The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness."

This quote was moving because it implies the brevity of life. The other day, my sister came up to me and began to cry. At first she said that she did not want to talk about it, but after she could see my concern she spoke up. She exclaimed how her birthday was coming up and she would soon be a quarter of a century year old. (which most people would think of as very young) I laughed and thought she was kidding but then she continued. She brought up the idea of the world without her, which to me seemed like a very Nabokovian statement. She began to talk about how there was a time where she did not exist, and did not have the brain power to think, and to her that thought was extremely scary. She continued to say that this same feeling of darkness that would inevitably find her at the end of her life was the most scary thing she could imagine. A quarter of her life had passed. She felt as though she had not accomplished much. She exclaimed how bizarre it is that our father is dead, and how we always think about him, but how he is unable to think. And because our dad can not think because he no longer exists, then how does he still exist inside of us. After she got into these details, I told her to cool her jets and I told her that she is thinking too hard about what she is thinking about. This type of metacognition was not something I needed to deal with at 9:30 in the morning, on a sunday, when I was trying to drink coffee and watch some reality TV show. But she did not stop. She continued to talk about how thinking about our dead father and her getting older made he think about the day she dies. How at one instant, her brain would shut off, and she would not be able to think anymore. How could she have a body where the brain is able to shut off whenever it wants? She felt vulnerable. That nothing was in her controll because she could not controll when it is her time to die. I felt bad for her. Anyways. After thinking about this conversation, I realized how much Nabokov would probably appreciate it because of the quote listed above, but also the picture of the baby carriage. It is scary to imagine a world that we will not exist in some day, or the world that existed before us. It is remarkable how time will never end, nor did it ever start, and if anything our lives are just a quick light blink, between two eternities of darkness.